Oneshot "Entomb my hesitation" (Ruki x Uruha [The GazettE])

Ok, first of all, please, forgive me all of my mistakes since I am not an English native speaker ^^’’

Be aware that the text is short, shows my point of view expressed through the characters of famous artists and is really simple. In the future I would like to expand my works in English and work on my writing quality but for now that’s all what I can produce C’’: Don’t judge me, I just learnt how to get used to ridiculously low-level writing at GSCE so again, please, do not be too harsh for me >.<’’ I was punished and forced by my teacher to keep my writing short and simple and that’s how it affected me T_T I think my quality of writing communication in general dropped down massively but hopefully with time and practise I will make a progress C’’: Hopefully…

Title: “Entomb my hesitation”

Paring: Ruki x Uruha (The GazettE)

Genre:

Type: (very short) one-shot

Beta: -

Ruki sat at the balcony with a mug of coffee between his tights, his head low between his shoulders. Light and shadows created by pergolas, which split out the sunshine, danced at his face in a strangely manner. He wore warm sweatshirt in calm, beige colour but he was getting cold. I spotted it easily. In this year we had a beautiful autumn so the temperature wasn’t very chilly even though we were already in the middle of the October. The sun shined nicely. The sky was clear and bright blue. Everything around looked calm and peaceful.

But not everything was as peaceful as it looked like.

I sighed heavily and opened the balcony door. I went out from the flat. Ruki probably didn’t notice my appearance, he tried to ignore me or simply he was too busy with his own thoughts to pay attention to me. Whichever version was the true one, I sat next to him and I gave him a short, worried glance. Black haired man looked confused as he could just weak up. He gave me a surprised or even frightened look.

“Oh, Kyou…” he murmured.

“I just walked in. Don’t worry.” I said with crooked smile. He sighed with relief in response and nodded. “What are you thinking about?” I asked. “Or should I be more precise and ask what are you worrying about?” I was wonder. The vocalist smiled lightly, falsely.

“I can’t hide anything from you, can I?” He took a sip of his cold coffee. “But after all I wasn’t worrying about anything.” He denied.

“Of course…” I rolled my eyes. “You aren’t as good liar as you can think you are…” I pointed.

“I’m not lying. I wasn’t worrying about anything. I was… I was just thinking… in general…” he explained himself.

“In general?” I repeated. “About what in general?”

“About…” he paused. “About… life… I think…” he stammered.

“Oh, now I see.” I laughed. “So you were thinking about our place in the universe, about our destination and how to claim without hesitation that we are fallowing a right path during our short as an eye blink existence?... or any other “deep” shit?” I smiled meanly.

“Maybe not quite…” he growled. Ruki hated when I was taunting him. But who likes to be mocked? “I was… I don’t know how to put it in words…” black haired man gave up.

“Don’t be afraid to say it directly. I’ll not laugh. I promise.” I gave him my word.

“I was…” He started his sentence once again. “I was just thinking how lucky we were to have this opportunity to start our career in this time when mistakes were still allowed. I mean… Do you remember the beginning of Gazetto? We were rubbish. We couldn’t write songs in a proper way but it wasn’t something that could stop us from making our own music. We just wanted to show our listeners our emotions. We wanted to let them hear our feelings. I think it was the reason why people started to support us, why we were able to gain a fame… You see where I am going?” the musician looked at me unsure.

“I think I have a clue but go on, continue. I want to be sure I really understand what you mean.”

“I just try to say we started with our band in a good time when people still valued something more than the quality of the song. They felt emotions we wanted to share with them. From the technical aspect we were awful but we were doing something more than just a job. We wanted to go deeper and people have started to fallow us. With time passing we have gained some skills, we have learned how to write songs, how to show our emotions in a better way…” he talked very emotionally.

“So you want to say we started from feelings and a desire to do something “deep” and then after that we learned how to create music, right?” He nodded. “And you also want to add you spotted now it is completely the other way round?” I guessed.

“Yes, exactly!” the musician shouted. “In past listeners could forgive us our far away from being brilliant music skills because they were looking for something more important. They weren’t as blind as they are now. Nowadays only a small group of people still behave in the same way. Now people want to listen to something easy and melodic without understanding and meaning. It causes in changes in next generations of musicians.” He thrown his hands in the air in desperation.

“It sounds like you feel really old… even though you are younger than me and I still don’t think about myself as a grandpa…” I chuckled.

“It’s not about me!” he was irritated. “I’m focusing on other, younger musicians. It’s scary but even though they have awesome music skills, they don’t have hearts… Now you understand? They are professionals from the beginning but they are like robots. They don’t feel.” He sighed  heavily. “You can learn new things throughout your whole life. You can learn how to play guitar or drums, how to sing… but you can’t learn how to feel something. If you can’t feel then you’re just… disabled… the whole life through…” He shrugged but it was obvious it wasn’t indifferent for him. “We couldn’t do music. And that was fine. We hadn’t to learn how to write sings. We could do something totally different, we hadn’t to become musicians, we weren’t forced to become who we are now. But we felt it was a right way for us to follow, we felt it was something that we wanted to go into. We felt.” He stressed. “But new musicians don’t feel. They just decided at some point in their life they want to learn how to play some instrument or how to sing. So they have learned till they became professionals. Now they are talented, young people who can have unbelievable high qualifications… but they are still heartless. They are empty. And it’s scary. I’m afraid of these people.” He confessed.

“Maybe you don’t have to.” I shrugged. “Life is still going on. Life is changing and it also changes people who take a part in it. This process is running from the beginning of the universe and you can’t help it or stop it. It’s how our world works.” I claimed.

“Maybe you’ve right…” He mumbled. “But I’m still unsure..”

“Life, don’t change my fate…

God, entomb my hate…”

…and maybe my hesitation as well.

…please?